Don’t Argue via Instant Messenger
Tempers can flare no matter how well you get along with co-workers and management. And while there is nothing wrong with this happening from time to time, you need to remember that there is a right and wrong way of settling disagreements. The right way is meeting face to face to fix the problem. The wrong way is using instant messages to get your point across. Simply put, if you rely on instant messages there is a very good chance that things are going to get worse, not better.
Can you feel a fight brewing on instant messenger? If so, cut the conversation short and tell the person on the other end that you would rather speak in person or at the very least over the phone. If you continue your conversation online there is a good chance that you will end up saying something you don’t mean.
Additionally, you should realize that it is often times difficult to completely understand the other party when communicating via instant messages. In other words, you could take a statement the wrong way. This is particularly true if you are in the middle of a disagreement, and are looking for a way to prove your point.
If you argue via instant messenger you are going to make the situation worse. It is difficult to get your point across when you cannot explain yourself. To go along with this, it is never easy to deal with a misunderstanding when you cannot hear the tone of the person you are speaking with.
As you know, there are benefits of communicating via an instant messaging tool. But if communicating means arguing you will be better off face to face or on the phone.
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Comments
I’ve had times where I was trying to emphasize a point and the person on the other end of the IM simply was not taking me seriously. A quick phone call or walk over to their office made my point.
It’s all about tone. If two people can argue via instant messenger, then great. If the conversation simply isn’t getting anywhere, pull the plug and have some face time.
What I like about this article is that it’s good to remember to step back and ask yourself if you can resolve the issue more effectively in person.
I disagree with this. Arguing on instant messenger has its advantages too. For one, when both parties are “talking” over each other, you can go back and read what has been said instead of completely missing each others points. I don’t get your statement of not being able to explain yourself.
Another advantage is that using and exclamation point during IM is much less offensive then actually raising your voice. It can keep things on a much lower level of anger/frustration.
I’ve actually argued with my wife on instant messenger, while we were both in the house, and both agreed in the end that it worked quite well. Even the kids were saved from having to hear us squabble.